Pet News: Boy Marries Dog; PLUS Product Review: The Control-A-Cat Remote

Pet Advice: Dog Coats, Cat Flaps and Cats Drinking Milk
By Pete Wedderburn - The Telegraph

Our Pet Guru, veterinary surgeon Pete Wedderburn, answers your queries.

I read in the newspaper the other day that only certain dog breeds should wear coats. I live in Beijing with my one-year- old Miniature Schnauzer bitch, Penny. We are in the middle of winter and it is usually between 0 and -8C, and sometimes even colder. I'm not one of those people who likes to dress up their pets, but I think Penny might be more comfortable wearing a jacket. What do you think? HN, Beijing, China

Dogs can feel uncomfortable if they get chilled, just like humans, and there's definitely a place for warm clothing during very cold weather. Classic examples include thin-skinned, short-haired breeds, or long-haired breeds that have just been clipped. And these situations are probably what the newspaper article was referring to. But in bitterly cold weather, such as you are experiencing, I would think most breeds of dogs would appreciate some protection from the elements. Buy her a snug, warm coat and observe her behaviour when you're out on a walk. You'll probably find that she looks happier, plays more and is generally more enthusiastic about trips outside.

My young rescued black cat, Rosie, came to me about a year ago and settled in well. A few weeks ago a neighbouring cat entered my house and Rosie bolted when she saw it. She went missing for three days. It was a huge relief when she came back, but she had a meal, then disappeared for a few more days. Yesterday my neighbour told me that Rosie has been going to her house and is spending time there. How can I encourage her to realise that her home is with me? AM, East Ayrshire

Firstly, politely ask your neighbour to stop giving Rosie food and refuge, and to call you when she turns up. Make your home as secure as possible for her so that she doesn't feel that her territory is under threat. Get a microchip-reading cat flap (try a site like that will only let Rosie pass through it, and put it in a new place so that she won't associate it with the old one. Block up the cat flap completely in a visible way when she is inside, so that she is reassured that an invader is not about to come through it. Finally, make your home as attractive as possible for her. Give her small frequent meals, play with her, set up heat pads in her sleeping places, and give her high perches and hiding places. Visit for more tips on creating a cat-friendly home.

My three-year-old neutered ginger cat, Sparky, has recently become desperate for milk. I know you aren't meant to give cats milk and I have never done so. Can you explain why not and tell me why Sparky might suddenly want milk so much? He has always had the dried complete cat food (he won't eat wet cat food). My vet tells me that Sparky is 2lb overweight, but he is very active, chasing things, including the dog. MT by email

Once kittens are weaned, they stop producing the enzyme that digests lactose (the sugar in milk). As a result, many cats are lactose-intolerant and are unable to digest milk properly. If they drink milk, they can end up with unpleasant digestive disturbances. If a cat does not suffer from such problems after drinking milk, then there may be no harm in giving some as an occasional treat. The reason for Sparky's new thirst for milk is simple: he likes the taste. He will be thirstier than many cats because he eats only dried food (wet food contains more than 75 per cent moisture whereas dried food is usually around 10 per cent). If he is already overweight as a young adult, you need to take steps to reduce his calorie intake. Stopping the milk is an easy way to do that. He doesn't need it. Give him water only to drink, but try bottled or cooled boiled water, which he might prefer to chlorinated water straight from the tap.

Pete Wedderburn regrets he cannot answer all readers’ letters personally. All sick animals should, of course, be taken to a vet.


Owners often have fun thinking of names for their pets. Some classic examples that I have come across include:

A grumpy cat called Furocious.
A corn snake named Fluffy.
A dog called Stay who was difficult to train
A cat, belonging to a French couple, named Petit Batard.
A pair of cats, one black and one white, called Ying and Yang.
Finally, I once heard about a policeman who named his two cats Miss Demeanour and Felony.

Take Your Pet to the Vet

Taking a pet to the vet can be a costly trip here in the Valley. "Usually, every time we're over there, about $40 to $50," said David Wilson. The price was a little more for Joseph Cappite. "We'll say about $65 to $125," he said.

Most pet owners foot the bill, even when times are tough. "They're like our kids. We don't have kids. They are our kids, so we would do anything to keep them healthy," said Samantha Cisco, who was with Cappite at PetSmart with their pug, Henry.

To help offset the price tag, Bayer Animal Health announced an on line campaign Thursday, providing $20 vouchers to pet owners across the country. This coming after a new survey showing that in times of penny-pinching, visiting the vet is one of the first expenses eliminated. "People are tempted to skimp on the wellness care and basic care," said Dr. John Daugherty of Poland Veterinary Care.

Veterinarians say that's bad news for pets, as to the untrained eye, early warning signs can easily go unnoticed. "Especially since they can't tell you that they're sick. By the time they really act very sick, they're really, really sick," said Daugherty.

The vet voucher can be used at any licensed veterinarian's office for vaccinations, wellness exams and flea and tick treatment. Those are things local vets say every pet should have. "Treat it like a family member. Treat it like it's one of your kids and don't skip the basics," Daugherty said.

That's a piece of advice some pet owners are following. "I will be willing to make cuts in other parts of my life to keep these guys healthy," said Capitte. The same thing goes for David Wilson and his 13 year old dog. "Just like the rest of us here, you cut back on trips, cut back on going out to eat. She gets to be part of the deal, too," he said.

The $20 vouchers are good until May 31st, but they're on a first-come, first-served basis and you can only get one for the next two weeks.

Things You Should Not Give Your Pet to Eat!
by SHRIKHA GOSINE-ESCALANTE, West Palm Beach Pet Training Examiner

There are so many things that we as humans can eat, and sometimes we think we're giving our pets a harmless treat, but that treat may not be so harmless. Many things that we do not even think would harm out precious pets can potentially kill. When selecting treats for our pets, stick to treats that are made especially for them. Most times, feeding your pet 'people food' can just do way more harm than good. If it's not bad for them, then it might just form really bad eating habits.

Once pets start eating 'people food' it's hard for some of them to ever go back, thus making your pet a finicky eater. Some pet owners even go so far as to continue feeding their precious little friends unhealthy, unbalanced diets a.k.a. 'people food' to make up for their lack of appetite when it comes to their own pet food and this just spells trouble. We have to understand that our calorie intake, and our calorie needs are very different from our furry friends, and feeding them things that they would not usually eat can make them, lethargic, sick, obese and possibly cause liver or other organ damage.

Remember feeding our pets a healthy diet is one really good thing that we can do for them, making sure that they have the proper nutrition can add many, many years to your pets life. So, when you bring home your new pet, please take care in training them not to beg, and don't give in to those little 'puppy-dog' eyes.

A Japanese white-eye perches on a branch of a cherry blossom tree at Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden in Tokyo February 21, 2009. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao(JAPAN)

Save 5% on Pet Supplies Orders Over $75

Vouchers To Help Owners Pay For Pet Care
ThePittsburghChannel.Com / MSNBC

PITTSBURGH - Pets are not immune to the slumping economy. As families struggle to make ends meet, it seems more people are starting to skip their routine trips to the veterinarian’s office.

“People are hurting. If you go to Phoenix or other places where housing prices have crashed, people are in severe economic trouble, so there are a lot of animals going to shelters when people are forced to move out of their home,” said Dr. Lawrence Gerson, veterinarian at Point Breeze Veterinary Clinic.

The pet company Advantage announced a national initiative to give pet owners a hand. It’s dishing out more than $250,000 in aid. The money will be dispersed in $20 pet vouchers, which will be distributed through the end of this month to encourage preventative care.

“We do encourage people not to skimp on routine vaccinations and worming,” Gerson said. You can save money by paying for vaccinations now instead of treatment for heart worm and other diseases down the road.

Gerson suggested that if you are having trouble paying your veterinarian bills, talk with your provider. He or She may have a payment plan available so your pet does not have to suffer.

Pet Q & A
Roger F. Smith - The Star Press

Q: When my veterinarian listened to my pet's heart, he said she had a heart murmur. Do I have to worry about her having a heart attack?

A: A murmur is an abnormal sound from the heart that is heard while listening with a stethoscope, according to Roger F. Smith, veterinarian at the Animal Medical Center. A murmur isn't a disease itself, but is a sign that the blood is flowing abnormally through the heart.

Murmurs are usually classified based on how loud they are (Grades I-VI), whether they were present from birth or happened later in life (congenital or acquired), the phase of the heart cycle in which they occur (systolic, diastolic or continuous), and the location where they occur.

Depending on the type of murmur and the rest of your pet's history and physical exam, it might be recommended to have some further workup done to determine the underlying heart problem. X-rays of the heart and lungs, an ECG (electrocardiogram) and/or echocardiogram (ultrasound exam of the heart), will help pinpoint the source of the abnormal sound.

Common causes in dogs include damage to the valves between the left or right heart chambers (mitral or tricuspid valve insufficiency), narrowing of the vessels leaving the heart (aortic or pulmonic stenosis), or an abnormal opening between chambers (patent ductus arteriosis, or septal defects).

Some murmurs can remain present throughout a pet's life without ever causing a problem. Other times, the underlying heart disease can worsen, causing other symptoms, such as coughing or inability to exercise.

Heart attacks, common in humans when the vessels of the heart become blocked, are unusual in dogs. Depending on your pet's individual circumstances, your vet might recommend medication to help the heart function more effectively. Also make sure your pet's weight is within its recommended range and limit high-salt food and snacks.

Long Beach Checks for Unlicensed Dogs
By Bob Pool - Los Angeles Times

Long Beach is going to the dogs.

And as they knock on doors around there and in nearby Cerritos, Seal Beach and Signal Hill in an usual hunt for canine scofflaws, about the only excuse authorities haven't heard yet is that Fido ate the license notice.

Animal control workers are going house-to-house in search of unlicensed dogs in what is turning into an unusual census of the area's dog population.

And they are hearing every other conceivable explanation as to why pet pooches don't have proper tags attached to their collars.

"We've heard all of the excuses -- 'I didn't know I had to get a license every year,' 'I forgot,' 'I can't afford it,' 'We didn't get a notice,' 'I thought the license from another city was valid," said Christopher Davis, a license inspector with Long Beach's Animal Care Services Bureau.

"They're surprised that their vet reported the dog to the city, as is required by law. Some ask if they can get a discount because their dog is a senior."

Authorities commissioned the survey after calculating that half of the estimated 70,000 dogs in the four cities are not licensed.

On the street, members of the canine census crew carry computer printouts listing names and addresses of those who have previously licensed their dogs with the Long Beach agency.

As they walk up and down the streets, officers also watch for animals that have not been registered and do not show up on their lists.

Scofflaws are easy to spot.

"You walk up to a house and you hear barking coming from inside, you pretty much have a good clue," said surveyor Jose Cueva, a Los Angeles County animal control officer.

"The majority of dog owners without licenses will say they didn't know they needed to have one. One lady said she'd had her animals for 13 years without a license. I told her that I guess her streak was over."

Cueva was on Montair Avenue in a tree-lined neighborhood near the Long Beach Airport. Many people were not home when he rang their doorbells. He would return that Saturday to try again, he said.

Two small dogs, barking loudly, bounded to a front gate when Cueva approached one house.

A young woman stepped outside and explained that her mother handled matters involving the dogs. Cueva handed her literature that explained the licensing rules and asked her to pass them along.

Down the street, he noticed two other dogs visible through a picture window, sitting on the back of a living room couch. A man there said that his wife was in charge, but was not home. Cueva gave him licensing information to give her.

Many of the dog owners he comes across are irritated that they have been found out, he said.

"Some people consider the license a tax," Cueva said. "I tell them it's a way to keep shelters functioning for animals that aren't as lucky as theirs are."

Licenses from Long Beach's Animal Care Services Bureau cost $20 a year for dogs that have been spayed or neutered. The fee shoots up to $90 for dogs that are not altered. (Fees vary for dogs in other jurisdictions.)

The registration process requires owners to provide proof that their pets have been vaccinated for rabies.

Animal control services for Long Beach and neighboring areas are operated from the P.D. Pitchford Animal Companion Village. Officers share space at the sprawling Spring Street compound with the SPCA-LA humane society group.

The dog census is being undertaken with the help of Los Angeles County Animal Care and Control. The $116,000 county cost is being covered by new revenues generated by the license fees: The survey is paying for itself.

The door-to-door count began in December and was preceded by a lengthy public education campaign, said John Keisler, manager of Animal Care Services for Long Beach.

Mailings to residents who had previously registered their dogs but let the license lapse urged them to renew and avoid late penalties.

Those penalties start at $30 and can rise to as much as $600 if officials have to go to court for compliance.

A stampede to the Spring Street compound began once the door-knocking started. Nearly 5,000 unlicensed dogs so far have been registered -- a 53% increase over a similar period a year ago.

Some days "30 or 40 people are in line" when the license renewal window opens for business, Keisler said.

One of them was Jackie Vilar, who was there to renew the license for her husky, Powder.

She said she did not wait for an inspector to show up at her Seal Beach door.

"If they'd knocked, I'd have wanted to know how they knew I had a dog," Vilar said.

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How Far Would You Go to Save a Pet?
By Naperville Sun editors

The Sun's cover story for Tuesday recounts the story of Susan McGrath and family, who traveled to North Carolina for a newly developed cancer treatment for their dog. The family will spend more than $25,000 on the dog's treatment, with only a 30 percent chance of a cure.

A generation or two ago, if an animal was sick with something like this, the head of the household would have likely had it euthanized, if he didn't do it himself, under the belief that the animal was suffering and there was no money for vet bills.

You hear stories like this more and more today, however, about people who will spend thousands of dollars to treat an animal for a disease or a chronic condition like diabetes.

How far would you go to treat a pet? How much have you spent to deal with a pet's medical issues? Do you think people are doing the animals a favor by trying to treat these conditions, or should they let nature take its course?

By Mark F on February 17, 2009 6:11 AM
As much as I love dogs, cats and other pets, I am appalled at the thought of these medical treatments to save an animal's life. Anyone who has either endured or witnessed someone go through chemotherapy and/or bone marrow treatments would not consider this fate for a beloved pet. This animal will be subjected to an awful ordeal with no input into the decision.

True, it is not an uncommon course of treatment for a child, basically without their full understanding and consent. But please, let us agree before the argument starts that the child's life serves a greater purpose and should have a natural longevity that is not granted by nature to a pet.

I would never consider this and it has nothing to do with the cost of the treatment. I will leave that for someone else to argue.

By One Who Values You on February 17, 2009 9:48 AM
I've brought mine baby down to UofI for bone marrow draws & that was not too cheap. I'll tell you though, the next pet I get I'll be definitely getting pet insurance. They did not have it 20 some yrs ago & now it is definitely worth it if it cuts some of the cost & makes it more reasonable to take some measures to save them. But then again, I'd probably risk my life pushing an animal away from a car's path! :-) Actually, I spent 30 min with a disoriented dog weaving back & forth in traffic until the owners, who were walking on a path, finally arrived. They assumed he came out ahead to their car & stayed there, but he didn't.

By LL Bean on February 17, 2009 10:02 AM
I was trying to get our 6 mo old puppy fixed. Well low and behold the vet said the puppy's liver enzymes were high and they would have to test every week at $85 a pop, until the level went down. I opted not to do anything. THe vet said the dog could die. I commented this is a dog, not my children. She was horrified at my response in turn she told me to just give the dog liquid vitamin k.

Its all about the money.

Just like all these vaccinations. I got one vet to admit there are only two shots a dog needs. Remember back in the day, dogs didn't need all this crap.

Let nature take its course, but do whatever floats your boat.

Our dog is 18 mos old and better than ever!

By just think'n on February 17, 2009 10:04 AM
If someone has the ability to provide for a pet,why should it be anyones business but the pets owner. Disclosure;my niece is a DMV and they also specialize in intense pet surgery-therapy. It reminds me of a pal at the wastewater treatment plant who proudly states while it maybe *** to you,it's my bread and butter.

By Anonymous on February 17, 2009 10:11 AM
My 16 year old commented that for $25,000 she could buy a new car and still have enough money left over to buy the McGrath's a new puppy.

By Janet Born on February 17, 2009 12:18 PM
I think the owners of this dog are being very selfish and thinking of themselves and not the poor dog. Human beings have terrible side effects from chemo so who knows what a dog would go thru. Also the dog is already 7 yrs old and dogs of that size usually only live to be about 13.I have been through the heartbreak of having to have a pet put to sleep but in the end you have to put the pets welfare first and not your own. I had a cat who had lymphoma and chemo was an option. I decided against it as I didn't want his last months or years to be full of the side effects.

By Pigeon Hill Auroran on February 17, 2009 12:30 PM
I think a lot of folks are missing an important point. What you do, how you allocate your personal resources, etc are based on your own life experience and values. We live in a society where we have the freedom to act pretty much as we please, within certain norms, laws and parameters, without having to justify or explain our actions--or how we spend our money--to anyone. No one has the right to pass judgement or cast mean spirited dispersions on this family because they have chosen this path with their dog. Our society doesn't instantly become a commune where individual freedoms are (voluntarily) given over to the greater consensus just because someone or a majority thinks something is stupid, unjust or they just don't agree with it. Take this story for what it is, powerful love and the wonder of advancing science.

By Original Joe on February 17, 2009 12:53 PM
I believe that the decision about what to do is up to the pet owner. When I was told 4 years ago that my golden needed a new hip and his 4 small growths would kill him in 6 months I opted to adopt a new puppy. That little thing got him up and moving around and gave him another purpose in life. Today, my golden is healthy, original hips, no further growth expansion and he is bouncing around without having done anything except controlling how much food he eats, exercise and the minimal required shots. I clearly credit the little dog for the older's recovery.

By Ken on February 17, 2009 1:02 PM
While I fully realize that it is the family's right to spend whatever they want on their property, I think that they rank in the top ten of idiotic pet owners. It's just a dog, one that they will miss when it is gone, but will be easily replaced especially if they have an extra $25,000 laying around to waste on frivolous things.

If any treatment for a pet of mine gets much above the cost of replacing it, the pet goes to pet heaven.

By ANN E. on February 17, 2009 1:27 PM
Well, as the topic is "What measures would YOU take to save a pet", I'll give my opinion without judgement. If an animal has a lifespan of say 10-15 years if healthy, and that animal comes down with a serious illness that would require drastic surgery and ongoing expensive medication with side effects that may extend it's life, but extend it with discomfort and pain, I would most likely not take those measures. Especially if the dog is 7 plus years and may only have a few left with normal health.

In my opinion, the pet does not realize that it's life may be shorter than expected. The pet does not live in fear that it may die ahead of it's time. Does a pet need to live with ongoing medical procedures while dealing with pain for an extended period of time? Frightening stays in an unfamiliar medical facility? I would not put my pet through that, as I think the extra effort/painful treatment and time is for the owners, not the best interest of the animal. Perhaps growing up on a farm with horses and llamas as "pets" as well as other livestock gives me a different reference point as to what is quality care and what is too much care on behalf of the humane treatment of animals. Having the farm still in the family west of DeKalb gives me the ability to have my pet put down in a place she loves, on the farm with the vet coming to our place, not stressing her out by having it done in the office. Peaceful.

But, this is my opinion only and one that I have discussed with my kids as our boxer gets to be 9 and in perfect health so far. But we realize that with a breed like this something could happen any time and happen quickly and we will not prolong suffering for our benefit if it causes our pet to live with pain and disease.

By Thom Higgins on February 17, 2009 2:06 PM
I'll second Anne E's comments. Especially regarding saying good-bye. My family too is fortunate to have a vet that makes house calls, and the time we had to put down one of our Collies (age 13) we did it in our home and it was as peaceful as we could make it. With hindsight my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner, but as anyone who has gone though this knows they ebb and flow, so it took longer than was in her best interests to make the ultimate decision in order to spare her additional pain. I'd make that decision sooner next time. Wouldn't be any easier though.

By Naperville Sun editors on February 17, 2009 2:15 PM
I think that Anne makes a good point about the differences when you are from a farm background. Farmers are used to raising animals that will later be slaughtered for food. Maybe they don't get quite so attached to them, or they just look at them differently. That's kind of what I was getting at in the original post when I mentioned how it was different a few generations ago. We lived on a dairy farm when I was young and we had barn cats on the farm. Once in awhile a cow would lie down on one or one would get run over. It was just a fact of life and you didn't get that attached to them. It's a different mindset for an urban family with a beloved pet. Not that farmers don't love their pets, but perhaps they are more used to the idea of losing them.

By Tom Pugliese on February 17, 2009 2:20 PM
As far as the McGrath family spending the money they are for their dog, I say wonderful!!. If a family has the means and fully comprehends all of the consequences, then do it. I know that I would do (and actually did to some extent) the same thing. I only wish that there was a potential cure for the prostate cancer which killed my dog, Tony, March 26, 2008.

Good luck and best wishes to the McGrath family, including their dog Cody!!

By Anonymous on February 17, 2009 4:24 PM
A couple of thoughts:

Did the McGrath's even THINK about getting a second opinion?

It is a down economy. Offer the vet $15K and I'm willing to bet he/she will gladly take it. EVERYTHING is negotiable at present.

Otherwise... a fool and their money are soon parted.

By jack on February 17, 2009 4:47 PM
I spent 10,000 on a young cat a few years ago. Totally misdiagnosed with heart problems by an idiot vet in Naperville, when the cat really had a cancerous tumor near its pancreas. The cat never had heart problems because I took the cat to a cardiologist who told me so. I then took the cat to several specialists, (internal medicine, oncologists, etc.,) the very best, and found with chemo the cat could still live at best a year. I decided to let nature take its course with two good months without chemo. The sweetest cat ever and I still miss him. I always wonder with that misdiagnosis of a heart problem by the original vet how much valuable time was lost while the tumor was growing, and if that tumor could have been taken out and the cat would still be with me today.

By Henry Porter on February 17, 2009 5:39 PM
I have a huskey, if i had the money to do what i could to save my dog's life i would. However i did get the insurance just incase something like this should hyappen.

By Chris Davidson on February 17, 2009 6:19 PM
I'd like to express my sympathy for and admiration of the McGraths. I fear they may face some criticism about their decision to save their dog at any cost, but I wanted them to know that most pet owners understand that your dog or cat is a member of the family. As such, they are entitled to the best care that you can provide. Exactly how far a family is able or willing to go is a personal decision, but never one to be taken lightly. The McGraths choice to spare no effort or expense for their pet, shows them to be exemplary pet owners and highly loving, responsible people, more power to them!

By Mark F on February 17, 2009 7:52 PM
The only comment I have for many posting in favor of this treatment is you must never have endured chemotherapy much less a bone marrow transplant as you would not wish it on your worst enemy! This dogs last days will be spent in pain.

Two-Year-Old Indian 'Marries Dog'
By Sanjaya Jena in Orissa - BBC News

A two-year-old boy has been "married" to a dog in eastern India to "ward off evil spirits and bad luck".

The "marriage" took place in a village in Jajpur district on Monday.

The "groom", Sagula Munda, was taken to the house of the dog, called Jyoti, in a highly decorated rickshaw and priests solemnised the ceremony.

The boy's father said such "marriages" were a tradition and would help ease the bad omen of the tooth rooted in Sagula's upper gum.

Tribal deity

The "marriage" was in the tribal-dominated Patarpur village.

Like in every Hindu marriage, the priests chanted Sankrit prayers and hymns and there was an accompanying feast.

The boy's father, Sanrumula Munda, said of the wedding: "Tribals not only in this state but also in neighbouring Chhattisgarh and Jharkhand, observe such practices to keep the evil spirits away."

Arranging "marriages" with dogs kept children protected from ghosts and bad luck, he said.

The parents of Sagula and other local people consider the biological tooth defect a bad omen both for the family and neighbours.

The "bride's" father, Parakrama Munda, said: "This is just a ceremony to please the tribal deity - in the great epic Mahabharat a dog helped the Pandavas reach heaven."

He said it was a superstition, like wearing a stone or a talisman.

One attending resident, Dushmant Rout, said the "bride" had spent a few hours at the "groom's" house "but not inside the room... she stayed on the verandah".

Control-A-Cat Remote Only Makes Cats More Frustrating
By Wilson Rothman,

Dear Manufacturer: As the owner of two dumb felines, I was pleased when you introduced the 21-button Control-A-Cat remote with "meow" and "catch mice" functionality. But certain buttons on my unit don't seem to work.

For instance, no matter how hard I push "use litter tray," Wynona still prefers to use the linoleum floor just in front of the litter tray. Is this a calibration issue?

And when I aim the thing straight at Wade and press "Get Off—Shelf," he just looks at me. And that's the other problem: Even when I'm not pressing certain buttons such as "Remain Aloof" "Cat Nap" and "Eject Fur Ball," the cats seem to be performing those tasks anyway. It's as if they have minds of their own! Maybe there's a good reason you don't print a toll-free tech support number on the package.


Wilson, Frustrated Cat Owner

Claire Severance
Although, I've taken a closer look at the buttons. Maybe I should try it on my husband. I like the off/sulk button. Or a couple of my friends (retract claws button). I love the "Here kitty kitty" button.

No, you've got it all backwards. Cat remotes work by sending your instructions BACK in time. wait for your cat to do something, then press the appropriate button. It really works!

I have two cats who, much as I love them, very much need to be controlled. "Eureka!", I shout, and quickly hit the Amazon link to make a purchase. Only $7.99? Better get two!

So I had two in my Amazon shopping cart and was about to hit the "One Click" order button when, quite dramatically, one cat dashed violently down the hall making this horrible, painful wailing noise. Naturally, I ran to make sure she was OK. When I got to the living room, I found her coiled up on the couch, purring at me in an oddly disquieting way as she licked her butt.

Slightly shaken, I returned to my computer, only to see the other cat jumping away from the keyboard--and I found that, not only was my Amazon cart empty, but now, quite mysteriously, these items were listed as "Currently unavailable: We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock."

My cats stole my wallet once. I have no clue why. My first theory is they were trying to copy my Drivers License so they could drive for more food. My second is they were memorizing my CC# so the brains(Cynder) could order some food after browsing porn.

I'll bet the "remain aloof" button works just fine.

One of my cats had calibration issues too. He was smart enough to know that he should be standing in the litter box, but not quite genius enough to realize his ass also needed to be inside the box.

How about a remote for our kids who throws the veggies under the table instead of eating them?
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